You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
