I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
