Where is the hickey?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
