Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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