she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
