oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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