i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
