I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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