Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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