Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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