i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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