we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
