just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
