love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
