My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
