she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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