I'm so fucking centered right now
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
