I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
