I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
