I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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