I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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