Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
