what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
