I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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