You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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