What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
