you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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