It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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