plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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