real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
