so explain again why im purple
no
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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