I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
