Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
