I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
