Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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