i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
