Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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