I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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