just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
