I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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