mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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