check it out our google latitudes are spooning
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
