What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
