it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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