I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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