So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
