Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
