Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
