she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
