2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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