And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
