So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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