I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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