After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
