belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
