Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
