Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
