..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
