i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
